So, let's go back 5 weeks: washing machine floods the kitchen floor. Rip up vinyl floor and spend two days drying wood underneath. While floor is drying out, spend same two days driving all over Edinburgh to find something cool for the unexpected excitement of a new floor. Then spend what should only be a weekend project of laying new tiles---that of course extends into the next week and nearly ends in pistols at dawn for Alan and me. To say we had an argument or two is the grossest understatement of the decade. Still, the kitchen now is beautiful, and we both love the tile. Maybe not each other so much, but yeah, we love the tile.
This is part of the kitchen and new floor, though the photo doesn't show how stone-like and cream-colored the tile really is. Ozzy, of course, is glad the chaos, arguing and throwing down of tools and stomping off is over. (We won't say who did that, though I will say it wasn't me...!!)
Now, four weeks ago Alan figures, apparently since we had such a fun time doing the kitchen floor project, why not paint the den. (I'll tell you why not---you can't afford the divorce...!!). It is fairly dim in that room, mainly because that side of the house only gets the very early morning sun and the carpet and walls are darkish. I'm not too keen on this idea though as we will have to empty out the room (3 large bookcases, office desk, computer, chairs, credenza, ad nauseum), but I do agree lightening the room would help considerably. Then, before I've really worked my head around to the actual fact of painting the den, he gets this brain fart that we could also do the 3 bedrooms, and gee, painting isn't enough, we really need new carpeting throughout. Sigh.
We find the perfect carpeting, delivery in 7-10 days, and they will do the carpet laying room by room, which is a very cool thing if you think about it. So, we get the paint and supplies, move all the furniture out of the den, do the painting, remove the old carpeting, and in four days we're ready for the new carpet. We planned on painting a room per week (factoring in moving all the blasted furniture all over the house), schedule the carpet laying, move the furniture back in, carry on to the next room, and yippee, we can have everything done and dusted in about a month.
And here's where PLAN turns into a four-letter word. And also where Chaos replaces DIY. In the two photos below, in what we affectionately call "Gail's Room" because my sister stayed in this room when she visited us a few years ago, you can see the beginning phase of the madness. These pictures are just a portion of the room that I could get to to take the photos. All the contents of the 3 bookcases, some furniture, and anything else that wasn't nailed down fills this room to bursting. I had to make a small trail to my wardrobe, otherwise I would be living in my pajamas and/or painting clothes. The small trail is the only way in or out of Gail's Room.
Here's where the rest of the den furniture ended up: the Living Room. Behind the 3 bookcases is a lovely overstuffed chair, table, lamp and reading area. You can't sit on the couch (where I'm crouched trying to take this shot), let alone watch the TV. We cleared an Ozzy Route, so he can still get to the back of the loveseat for his guard duty looking out the front room window.
And lest Alan not have access to his computer and/or office stuff, we now have the 3' x 5' desk in the hallway.
Remember above where I mentioned that delivery schedule of 7-10 days for the new carpet..?? We waited 15, and not hearing from the company, called them to find out when we were getting the first round of carpeting laid. The new date we were given was September 30th. At this point that was nearly a 3 week wait. Not happy campers, plus I'm feeling my feet sliding down the slippery slope into Total Chaos.
We decide (and frankly, I'm beginning to wonder at our reasoning skills these days) to forge on with our painting schedule, so when the carpet comes, we will have two rooms ready and gee, aren't we smart..?? NOT.
We move all the master bedroom furniture into the empty den (crammed would be the operative word really), and proceed to rip up the carpet, do the painting, yada yada. This time it takes 8 days of work because we had to strip wallpaper and patch lots of defects once we had gouged a multitude of holes in the plaster removing the frigging wallpaper. I'm losing any perspective I marginally had and "Leaving on a Jet Plane" keeps playing through my head as I'm working.
Photo of part of the master bedroom, finished and painted and just waiting for that elusive f-word carpet. I couldn't get into the den to take a photo of that room...just imagine a king-size bed, bureau, two wardrobes, two nightstands, lamps and a vanity in a room half the size of the master bedroom, and you get the picture. CHAOS is now in capitals for a reason. Still, we have two rooms finished, albeit without the carpets, so we're feeling pretty chipper at this point.
So. Yesterday, having not heard anything from the carpet company and with the carpet delivery the next day (today, Sept 30), we pop in to schedule the first room's laying. Deep sigh. What can I say..?? No joy..?? No customer service in Scotland..?? Totally inept workers..?? Every swear word in my vocabulary (and that's pretty extensive) doesn't even come close to the frustration and anger. Turns out the carpet hasn't even been manufactured yet. When the rude and snotty reception-type person called the manufacturer--and that only because Alan was looming over her in a vampiric I-might-rip-off-your-head way--they gave no explanation for the delay, other than to say they were supposed to do the carpet last week, but didn't. Seriously. What..?? Alan asks her to ask the production person exactly when they might be doing the carpet, but she blows Alan off, thanks the man on the phone, and hangs up..!! Oh, the humanity.
Without going into all the dreadful and gory details (he said, she said, they all said), we leave the store without a clue when, if ever, we will be getting the carpet. The house is in total disruption, and we can't do any more in the other two rooms because we don't have any space left to move a stick, let alone more furniture. We get home. I want to do a diva thing and just collapse in a heap on the bed in a swoon, but there's no room.
Alan decided last night to write an email to the Managing Director of the company explaining the whole travail of these last four weeks, which he does, and we figure we'll give them until Friday to respond, then go to Plan B. Whatever that's going to be. He's quite brilliant at getting the point across, in a very...ahem... meaningful way, when it's necessary.
This morning Alan gets a phone call from the Managing Director's assistant. She assures him that all has been taken care of, the carpet is being made as we speak, will be delivered next Wednesday to the company's warehouse in Edinburgh, and we will have the den fitted on Thursday, and the master bedroom on Friday. Hell must have frozen over and that DIY demon is encased in ice and can't get to us, at least for the moment. I won't believe the very nice assistant until next week when I'm actually looking at my new carpet...on the floor...in two rooms...without any problems.
How long will this whole process have taken when all is said and done...?? About two months. So much for the PLAN, the "we can get this done easy in about 4 weeks" idea, and damned if I ever want to do any more DIY for as long as I live..!! Too bad there's still two more rooms to do...sigh.
