Frustrations

No blog yesterday, no writing of any kind.  My frustration level has red-lined, on several fronts.

Image courtesy of HMoG

First, Ozzy.  We spent the better part of yet another day at the vet's.  More tests, more blood work, more questions without answers.  They've ruled out several things, some of which were a relief as they would have been fatal.  Sent off some blood to be analyzed elsewhere, results due by Wednesday or Thursday.  In the meantime, he's still sick, still having diarrhea, in and out of the house all night long; no one's sleeping these days.  I did manage to get him to eat more of the baby food, mixed with a tiny bit of boiled chicken, though half an hour later we were outside and...well, let's just say it didn't stay in his system too long.  He's now on two separate antibiotics, which frankly can't be doing his empty stomach or his body any good, though the vet says it's important, so three times per day I try to squirt this crap into his mouth, with marginal success.  If the new tests don't show something viable, we will perhaps have to face exploratory surgery, biopsies, etc.  At this point I can't go there.  It makes my stomach clench and burn.  I can only hope there's a positive outcome from the tests.

Second, the flaming, effing, frigging garage.  This process is dragging on beyond all that is acceptable to me.  It's five weeks now--the house painting only took a few days!!!--and still it's not finished.  It looks like it will be sometime next week before all is said and done.  That will be six weeks.  For a damned garage floor.

Third, my ever-failing attempt at NaNo.  After a grueling endeavor on Sunday to reach the halfway point, I have now lost my edge because I haven't written a word since.  I'm actually getting so bogged down in these daily crisis things, that I have totally lost my motivation, to say nothing of momentum.  If this is a test, I'm failing.  My sister asked me last night if it really mattered; I would be writing the book anyway.  She's right on one hand that regardless of NaNo, I planned on writing the second book.  But on the personal, other hand:  Getting to 50K in 30 days takes a real effort, and is an achievement that means a lot to me.  Plus, I'm afraid if I give up the challenge, with the way this month has gone so far, any minute now I will begin chanting the writer's lament:  "I can't write, it's all crap,"  sabotaging myself to the point I stop writing altogether.  Sometimes it's just too damn much effort.  And, for what?  (See..?  There I go already...sliding down that slippery slope).

Fourth, and final frustration (excuse the alliteration--unintentional but apt).  Could this blog be more depressing..???  If there's anyone left out there who's still reading this whingeing, whining crap: my apologies.  Some days (or the month of November), there's just no way to sugarcoat the negative.  At least not for me.  It is what it is, and I have to live with it, but lucky you, you have a choice to click away to another, cheerier life blog.

If ever there was a photo that sums up my mood over these past 15 days, this would be it.  How crazy am I getting..??  Check out the wild eyes, the electric fuzzy bodies, the wide-open, screeching mouths.  Yep, this just about says it all...

Image courtesy of Amo