Jokes for a Wednesday...

Just a few jokes to liven the day.  Hope to spend most of it writing, though who knows how that will play out.  Painters are here, very bright and early, to start the trim, and expect to be done--or close to it--by this afternoon.  Cool.

******************************************************

Joke One:

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.  Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband!" said the wife.  The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! - two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime, so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...

So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and -abracadabra!- the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story:. Men might be ungrateful idiots, but fairies are...female!

************************************************

Joke Two:

A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. The golfer says to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."  Little Johnny walks up to him and says, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer thinks the young boy is being silly and that any answer would be meaningless. At the same time he thinks this might be a good omen, so he says, "Okay," and sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbles to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."  Little Johnny moves to his side again and says, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer shrugs and says, "Sure." He makes an eagle.

On the final hole, the golfer needs yet another eagle to win. Though he says nothing, Little Johnny approaches and says, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"

The golfer says, "Certainly!" He makes the eagle.

As the golfer walks to the clubhouse, Little Johnny walks alongside and says, "You know, I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life!!"

"Nice to meet you," says the golfer. "My name is Father O'Malley."